“They’d be better off without me”

When I talk to people who have messed things up, the enemy tells them that their family would be “better off” without them. They are engaging in self-hatred. They contemplate divorce and sometimes suicide. The lie they are believing is that they can’t do better, they can’t be better, and they can’t overcome the damage they have done.


If you look at your past and how you’ve overcome mistakes and hardship, you know that this belief is factually just not true. If you choose to believe what God says – that with Him ALL things are possible, the lie is plain to see.
Here’s the question – do you want to believe you are a failure, period, end of story, or do you want to believe that you can be better? Your family doesn’t need you to quit. They won’t be better off without you. They will be worse. They will be so much better off WITH you if you choose to fight for them, to become better, to stick it out and stay the course. You aren’t strong enough to do this. You’re not supposed to be. That is why we need our good and loving God, who can help us.

So, here’s my advice – stop trying. Stop “trying” to be better. You aren’t strong enough on your own. Surrender this to God and ask Him to help. Get in a good church. Get good accountability partners and tell them the truth about what you’re dealing with so that they can help you be better. Ask for forgiveness. Get some help from a therapist or pastor. Distance yourself from well-meaning friends who encourage you to get a divorce or blame your spouse. Put down your pride and stop making it about how bad you are. Choose to be courageous and start making choices that will help you become better.

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